Ladies in Waiting

She has you for a day or two
She has the remaining five
She's baffled 'coz you're dozy
She knows exactly why

She indulges you with her nearness
She satiates like a song
She always comes home to you
She makes you feel at home

She is a woman, that's what you saw
She is an enigma, leaves you in awe
It is what it is, 'coz in your life
I wonder who's the mistress? Who's the wife?

i remember

i remember
sitting there ,engulfed by the beauty beside me
again, i see beauty
not within my grasp however
i remember... i love you

Let's Reminisce

I was going though some old stuff then I found my old notebook with my old compositions that I wrote for certain persons in my past. Others were just too embarrassing to post, but here are a few that are “readable” and bearable. Not bad for the teener me, if I may say so but geez, I was such an emo kid! Goodness gracious! I am prepared to be crucified hahahaha!

TO MY LIFE

I posted this on the other blogs but I might as well include it because it was also in the notebook…I still think this is the best that I came up with so far

To the one who makes my heart sing in the midst of my monotonous solitude.
To the one who journeys with me along this taxing road.
To the one who waits patiently for my wisdom to replace my unfounded judgment.
To the one who keeps my sanity at its rightful place..

You are worthy of only unsurpassed things in life--
The warmest comfort in the chills of the winter.
The sweetest smell of a flower in full spring bloom.
The freshest zest in the heat of summer.
The coziest crib on a golden autumn.

Tangible things these four seasons may offer.
But you deserve even more--
Like an infant.. You ought to be cared for.
Protected from the filth of this swift changing world.
Loved like the brightest star in our vast galaxy.
With a magnitude so great.. never go unnoticed.

I may not be that astronomer,
Who ardently keeps his watchful eye on Polaris.
But I can always try..

I cannot promise that tears of pearls may not roll down your porcelain cheeks for the nth time.
For the double-edged blade not to pierce you heart once again.
But they can always be forestalled..

I shall will myself, to be the percussion.. the beat in your heart.
The companion that treks with you on your challenging journeys.
To be clever as the wisest of men as for you not to go astray.
To be life, as you are to me..

BOTTLED UP

Written November 2003

In this bottle, contained are my dreams and fantasies
Waiting for the touch of reality

In this bottle, Surfaced are my pains and fears
Kept afloat by years of tears

In this bottle, held are the keys
To my genuine and lasting happiness

In this bottle, kept are mem’ries
Of good times and miseries

In this bottle, Safeguarded are the love
Bestowed by special persons…
And the One above

An in this bottle…
Preserved is the love that I’d give
Love which has the strength to accept and forgive

These are all the things bottled up in me
But which ones should be kept
And which ones should go?

To the one I gave this bottle to…
I entrust my life to you

TRANSCENDING

Written July 2003

I wrote this without knowing what the definition of Transcending was! Geezus!

Transcend to thee all my love
Transcend to thee my care
Underneath the skies above
My soul to thee I bare

For only through this nakedness
Shall thee, my true love, see
What no one else has witnesses…
The being that is ME.

I battled with demons of my shady past
Calloused by pain and hurt
Through my blissful, strong façade
I survived the cruel world

Yet when cradled in thy protective arms,
I am but a child – vulnerable…scared
I don’t seek for thy sympathy
Nor do I thirst for pity

All I ask for thee is thy love
To quench my barren soul,
That I bore to thee…underneath the skies above

Now, bountiful graces are overflowing
The angels from heaven descending
Singing songs of joy never-ending
Of my love…to you…transcending

THE FATE I HATE

Written God knows when, but this was for my first girl(LDR!!!)

I’m missing you so much right now Raking my brain to shake it off, but how

This feeling has lingered on for so long Sucking the life out of me…but I must hold on

Cold, lonely nights without you
Holidays meant to be shared by us two
Two hearts separated by distance…the enemy
Should this forever be our destiny?

Is being apart our so-called fate? Coz if so, then this fate…I loathe…I hate
For how can life be so unfair?
When into your loving eyes, I cannot stare
Your hands, I cannot hold
Nor can I keep you warm from the bitter cold

I am deprived of your kiss, your caress
Your breath must feel warm on my neck, I guess
How you really are, I wouldn’t know
But that’s not reason enough to let you go
Coz I’d have no one to run to, no one to call
Life without you is not life at all.

UNTITLED

Written Nov 29 –Dec 2, 2002 (wow this took me a while!)

I believe I was still a pothead and a closet case when I wrote this, since I think this is the most emo entry in the series! LOL!

Life was great, ‘twas a blast
Just did anything for the fun to last
Been there, done that, didn’t give a damn
A free spirit that’s what I am

What they thought of me, I didn’t care
Why would I, when nobody was there
To even ask if I was okay
If I could go on another day

Things were like that for a time or so
Days and nights went by so slow
My so-called life was now a routine
Boredom struck me; it was so mean

‘Twas then I realized I was lonely
That I definitely needed somebody
To love and care for solely
To fill up the void that’s deep within me

Lo and behold! There you were
An angel, an answered prayer
The very best of friends we became
But to be more than that, I secretly aimed

Being best buddies was kinda cool
But beneath that was an emotion so cruel
Because the love I felt for you was so true
Sad to say…I just couldn’t have you

You had somebody then remember?
But little did I know, it was me you were after
The 15^th of October came as a surprise
Your declaration of love was my priceless prize

I was once a lost soul baby
But your love has finally found me
A lonely fool I was, too
But you carefully saw me through

Never could I even imagine
That something like this would even happen
That I’d be yours and you’d be mine
Hopefully till the end of time

I just wanna thank you for everything
The trust, the joy, the love you bring
The best in me, you brought out
That’s what genuine love’s about

Lucky we are to have found each other
Compared to you, there’s no one better
So many things I found in you
I love you babe…I really do

“For longer than forever, that’s how long I’ll be true”
With all my heart, that’s what I promise you
You’re far more precious than a diamond shimmering
You’re my life, my soul, my everything

chameleon

sometimes you're sweet

at times you're bitter

you raise me up on a pedestal
then before i know it, you throw me away like rubbish

one day you're needy...you smother me with attention
the next you're aloof, leaving me to wonder what i did wrong

for you are a chameleon, camouflaging your actions to fit your erratic moods
or is it just for convenience...your convenience...at my expense

please be kind

this is you to me

marking the end of a life's chapter, i stepped out into the open
in an instant, you greeted me with your warmth
caressed the skin on my face, scorching me with love and jubilation
you were summer

traversing the unmarked paths, you held my hand
deep into the woodlands you led me
but slowly your grip seemed lackadaisical
letting the lifeless leaves fall on my uncertain soul
you were autumn

there i stood alone in the piercing cold, and it hurt
but your constant arctic savagery left me numb
void of passion...sentiment ...forgiveness
you were winter

time passed, the ice caps are melting
the wind is passing me and im breathing it in...the first sign of life
filling me with hopes of a new beginning
you are spring

oh Freud!

Written October 16, 2007 - after talking to an ex who almost drove me insane

Oh Freud You've made a breakthrough
The 'talking cure' The mind - we can see through
But oh Freud
Why did you have to make my subconscious the master?
That desires of my id gasp for air
While my indecisive ego seeks for answers

Oh Freud Why did you have to be so reminiscent
That a thing of the past haunts my present
Well Freud I just wish you were here
Dissect my being
My being that is queer